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Grief

Worst day of my life

abstract staircase

Today I am honored to share with you an essay written by a young woman who is near and dear to my heart. She is 17 years young and a junior in high school. She wrote this descriptive piece for an Honors English class assignment. I don’t know what grade her teacher gave it, but I give it an A++. I suspect you will, too. Yesterday By Madeline Nickles Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I woke up the morning of this horrid day, my eyes red and swollen from the night before, my silk pillowcase still damp from the unyielding tears that just wouldn’t seem to stop flowing. Looking around my sister’s room, I grimace as the blinding morning sun pokes through her curtains like an outstretched hand. I see my sister, Abby, still fast asleep on her bed, blissfully unaware of the new day mercilessly attempting…

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Grief and Loss

The dream that consoled me

Here’s one for those who enjoy finding hidden meanings in dreams. A few weeks ago, I had a dream about my mom. She came in through the back door of my house and stood on the landing leading to the kitchen. I was doing something at the sink — maybe preparing something for a family gathering. I was conscious of other people in the house — my kids, Paul, my dad — but they were not involved in the moment. I kept doing what I was doing as I turned to look at her. She was young and beautiful, clothed in a 1950’s style red dress — fitted waistline, flared at the bottom. Her black hair was short, framing her face with soft wavy curls. A broad smile made her face almost glow. She moved toward me to kiss me, but I stopped her cold. Don’t kiss me, Mom.…

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Grief and Loss

International Widows Day is no laughing matter

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress …” (James 1:27, NLT) Mom, I don’t want to make you sad, and it sounds kind of weird, but it’s International Widows Day today. That was the text message I received last Friday from my daughter, Emilie, while I was at the hair salon. I burst out laughing. “Why do we need a day to acknowledge widows?” I said to my stylist. “It’s not enough you have to deal with all the firsts and anniversaries, and now this?” he said. “So what do you do on International Widows Day?” I wondered aloud. “Do you celebrate with a party, as if being a widow is a good thing? Do you say ‘Happy Widows Day’ to the widows in your life? Or do you gather the widows and orphans and have…

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Grief and Loss

Cut me some slack

(Written one night while wrestling with the anger that finds its way into the process of grief, either on its own or provoked by something someone said. Shared in an effort to help others better understand the grieving soul.) Cut me some slack. Don’t take it personally if I turn down your invitation to dinner or if I don’t seem enthused by your offer to spend the day together. Forgive me if I don’t return your phone call for a few days — okay, weeks. I’m not breaking up with you. I’m suffering with grief. No, I’m not curled up in the fetal position, wiping away tears with the same tissue that I just used to blow my nose … or maybe I am.  I’m not wallowing in self-pity either, at least not every day. I’m just learning to live with loss, and that takes time. So, excuse me…

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