A few months ago I heard a preacher on the radio say something like, “God is willing to break you to remake you.”
As scary as that sounds, the words gave me courage. In fact, they were in sync with the on-going conversation I’d been having with God.
A few days before, while reading Deuteronomy 8:1-6, I was struck by verse 2. It says, “Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.”
Call me crazy, but that passage was a welcome dose of hope for my weary soul.
With cancer as the unwelcome guest in my husband’s lungs, the last few years have felt like a very long journey through barren stretches of scorched desert land. Like bare feet on hot sand, my tender heart has pranced awkwardly between faith and doubt, joy and grief. Some days I can’t stop crying over the way my life is changing, the way the pain of God’s hand on me hurts like hell. Other days, I just keep wandering on, hoping that our prayers for healing will lead us back to the lush green landscape we once enjoyed.
This shot of encouragement was delivered to me after what had been a stretch of gloomy days that left me panting for some relief: A kind word spoken by a fellow sojourner that goes down into your soul like cool water on a dry tongue. A story shared that fills you up with faith like grilled steak and corn on the cob at a summer barbecue.
In this passage, Moses was urging his people — as their time of testing in the desert was about to end — not to forget it was God who sustained them on their long journey. For me, his words helped me to refocus on what I already knew: That God is at the center of every moment, every situation in my life. Nothing touches me that hasn’t been consecrated by God, motivated by his abiding love for me. He stops at nothing to fulfill his promise to complete his redeeming work in me.
Though I feel battered and bruised from being knocked off my feet in this storm, I know I am not alone. Like the silver lining in a foreboding cloud, God is with me. I dare say He is the storm, stirring into being a new faith that is able to stand up against even the darkest of days.
If being broken as I am comes with the promise of being remade for my good and God’s glory, then I can bear another day in the hot sun.
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How about you? How is your character being tested these days? Where do you go for encouragement? I’d love to hear your story.
6 Comments
Heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am tested in my self-employment — “self” being the problem. Rather than trusting in God to sustain me, I continually find myself relying on what I can do to make the ship of my business run smoothly through unfamiliar waters. Frequently, I am being humbled, lifted up and reminded He is God. I turn to music for reminders and the encouragement of good friends… and when I remember, to God who is the only one who can right my ship.
Thanks, Leslie. It is the waiting that is so painful, and yet God is always faithful to pull us through.
Love you my friend. The words th
I can SOOO relate to the absolute brokeness. When I was feeling so lost and alone, couldn’t go backwards and didn’t trust God any longer so I didn’t know how to move forward but God, in all of His wisdom was able to get me to a place of trusting and obeying. What I had to do was find one thing…just one that I knew and could hold on to that I knew about God and it was ingrained in me as a child from supper prayers: God is good…that little phrase is all I could handle, all I knew and He was able to build from that and show me my hurts and pains were a direct result of my prayers asking to go deeper in Him. Strange. It took me a while of crying out, “God don’t lose me!” to, Thank you God that You know me better than I know myself and that YOU work it ALL out for my good.
Been thinking about you and praying for you the last couple of weeks. Glad you surfaced 😉
Thank you for sharing that, Doreen. Seems the smallest dose of faith can grow into something we can hang on to. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.